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GOAL! Nottm Forest 0-1 Arsenal (Gabriel Jesus 65)

And talking of Arsenal, Gabriel Jesus has scored a vital goal. He collected a quick throw from Oleksandr Zinchenko in the area, moved to the byline and somehow beat Matt Turner from an absurd angle.

Goal given! Aston Villa 0-2 Newcastle Blimey. Villa’s long unbeaten run at home is in serious danger. Their last league defeat at Villa Park was against Arsenal in February.

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Hang on, this Newcastle goal might be offside. The corner was headed away to Gordon, whose shot from 25 yards was sliced onto the underside of his own bar by Lenglet. Schar reacted quicker than anyone to knock it into the net from three yards.

GOAL! Aston Villa 0-2 Newcastle (Schar 36)

Another Newcastle corner, another goal for Fabian Schar!

Afcon latest

“Afcon has spoiled me, when it comes to the atmosphere in the grounds,” writes Kári Tulinius. “I’ve been flipping between Arsenal v Forest, Villa v Newcastle and Morocco v South Africa. The first two sound like a golf crowd compared to the skronk rock show going on in the stands of the Laurent Pokou Stadium.”

Talking of which, the half-time whistle has just gone in that game. It’s Morocco 0-0 South Africa and I have no idea whether that score is a fair reflection of anything. I ONLY HAVE TWO EYES AND ONE IPAD OKAY.

GOAL! Aston Villa 0-1 Newcastle (Schar 32)

Gordon breaks the offside trap again and has a shot deflected over – but the corner leads to a deserved goal for Newcastle. Trippier’s dipping outswinger is met by Schar, who gets away from Douglas Luiz too easily and bobbles a half-volley into the net from six yards.

Newcastle United’s Fabian Schar celebrates scoring their first goal with Alexander Isak. Photograph: Chris Radburn/Reuters

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Half-times: Fulham 0-0 Everton, Luton 3-0 Brighton

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Nottm Forest 0-0 Arsenal (60 min)

Arsenal surely can’t afford to drop more points tonight. You can follow the last half hour with Scott Murray.

Aston Villa 0-0 Newcastle (30 min) Martinez makes another good save in an increasingly open game at Villa Park. Moments later, at the other end, Kamara can’t control Douglas Luiz’s delicious pass over the top.

“Hi Rob,” says Russell Yong. “Not having any footage on which to go and relying on the MBM to paint the picture, your description of Palace’s equaliser immediately brought to mind Robin van Persie’s stunner against Charlton in 2006. Arguably the moment he really announced himself as both a great scorer of goals and a scorer of great goals. Does Eze’s goal remotely compare?”

Nope, and thus I resign for being crap. It was from above five yards, and he only had to cushion it into an open goal – but it was almost at head height and he had to stretch a long way with both feet off the ground. It wasn’t a goal of the season contender, it was just strikingly unique.

GOAL! Crystal Palace 2-2 Sheff Utd (Eze 27)

Two assists for Michael Olise, two goals for Ebere Eze. He received a square pass 20 yards from goal, dribbled away from Vincius Souza (I think) and flashed a beautiful left-foot shot into the far top corner.

(Yes, I know this goal happened about 10 minutes ago – sorry, I can’t keep with all this. Have you heard about Eric Cantona joined Sheffield Wednesday?)

Aston Villa 0-0 Newcastle (20 min) Emi Martinez has just made a fine save from Anthony Gordon. But there’s no time to dwell on that, because…

GOAL! Luton 3-0 Brighton (Adebayo 42)

This is outstanding from Luton! Brighton snap the ball around near the halfway line, but Barkley isn’t having it and nicks possession. He plays a quick one-two with Adebayo, moves into space and picks his moment perfectly to put Adebayo through on goal. He beats Steele at the near post to complete a wonderful first half for Luton. Oh and he accidentally flattened Lewis Dunk while celebrating too.

Elijah Adebayo of Luton Town collides with Lewis Dunk of Brighton & Hove Albion while celebrating. Photograph: Clive Mason/Getty Images

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“Through my Irish lenses I’m delighted to see Ogbene score for Luton but I’m a little concerned about what’s going on with Big Evan Ferguson’s minutes at Brighton,” says Niall Mullen. “At first it seemed like De Zerbi was protecting him. Now it’s more like he doesn’t fancy him. What do you reckon Rob?”

My hunch (that’s all it is) is that De Zerbi will go through phases of fancying or not fancying certain players, especially forwards. Pep Guardiola and Sir Alex Ferguson do/did that a lot, so I wouldn’t be worried. Yet.

Aston Villa 0-0 Newcastle (15 min) A pretty quiet start at Villa Park, where Newcastle are doing well.

The latest Premier League scores

  • Nottingham Forest 0-0 Arsenal (7.30pm)

  • Luton 2-0 Brighton (7.45pm)

  • Fulham 0-0 Everton (7.45pm)

  • Crystal Palace 1-2 Sheff Utd (8pm)

  • Aston Villa 0-0 Newcastle (8.15pm)

GOAL! Crystal Palace 1-2 Sheffield United (McAtee 20)

It seems Palace don’t enjoy being level in this game. Oli McBurnie rides a couple of lazy tackles and finds James McAtee, whose shot from the edge of the area deflects off Marc Guehi and over Dean Henderson.

James McAtee of Sheffield United scores his team’s second goal. Photograph: Justin Setterfield/Getty Images

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Half time: Nottingham Forest 0-0 Arsenal

Scott Murray will give you chapter and verse.

GOAL! Crystal Palace 1-1 Sheff Utd (Eze 17)

Palace’s future superstars have brought them level. Olise curves a no-backlift cross into the six-yard box, where Eze stretches to cushion a flying volley into the net. I’m not doing Eze’s athleticism justice with that description, partly because I can’t remember a similar goal. The United keeper Ivo Grbic ran towards the far post, assuming there was no way Eze could reach it. He was wrong.

Eberechi Eze of Crystal Palace scores his team’s first goal. Photograph: Warren Little/Getty Images

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“G’day Rob,” writes Chris Paraskevas. “I’m on the road for work, in an incredibly beautiful and serene part of the country – which inevitably means a 6am wakeup call from every living species of bird within a 5 km vicinity of the hotel, simultaneously.

“The silver lining is that I’ve had plenty of time to digest a familiar-looking Newcastle line-up. Even with players returning from injury, there are no guarantees that any of them will be able to find their best form before end of season… the FA Cup was a nice distraction but it could be ‘back to reality’ against Villa tonight, in the immortal words of Eminem.”

Like Eminem said, gravity always wins. Villa owe you for the 5-1 on the opening weekend of the season, but then I guess you owe them for the 3-0 doing at Villa Park in April.

Aston Villa v Newcastle, the last Premier League match of the night, is about to kick off. These are the latest scores in all the games.

  • Nottingham Forest 0-0 Arsenal (7.30pm)

  • Luton 2-0 Brighton (7.45pm)

  • Fulham 0-0 Everton (7.45pm)

  • Crystal Palace 1-0 Sheff Utd (8pm)

  • Aston Villa 0-0 Newcastle (8.15pm)

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“Arsenal are … missing Xhaka, and Partey a lot, aren’t they?” writes Andrew Hurley.

It’s a bit of a headscratcher. One week I think they’re missing Xhaka or Partey, the next Martinelli, the next Saka.

Ben Brereton Diaz’s goal came after precisely 22 seconds. Gustavo Hamer cracked a nice pass out to him on the left, and he cut inside before curling a fine shot into the far corner from the edge of the area.

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GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 Sheff Utd (Brereton Diaz 1)

Never mind Roberto De Zerbi’s internal monologue; I’d like to hear Roy Hodgson’s right now.

Sheffield Utd forward Ben Brereton Díaz scores. Photograph: Simon Traylen/ProSports/REX/Shutterstock

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Luton 2-0 Brighton (15 min) Tom Lockyer is at Kenilworth Road tonight for the first time since his cardiac arrest, which won’t have done the atmosphere any harm.

Crystal Palace v Sheff Utd is under way at Selhurst Park.

Nottm Forest 0-0 Arsenal (29 min) This is a helluva stat from the TNT Sports team. Passes in the final third so far: Forest 1-109 Arsenal.

Women’s Champions League

Chelsea have topped Group D after belting Paris FC 4-0 in Paris. Hacken’s win in Madrid means they also qualify for the quarter-finals.

Nottm Forest 0-0 Arsenal (25 min) Arsenal are completely dominating the match at the City Ground, though neither side has had a shot on target so the first 25 minutes would probably qualify for Arsene Wenger’s Big Book of Sterile Domination.

As things stand – I know, I know – Luton are out of the bottom three and Everton are in it.

Luton 2-0 Brighton (4 mins) Roberto De Zerbi’s internal monologue right now probably makes Peep Show look tame by comparison.

The first goal came inside 20 seconds, and that was after a Brighton kick-off. Adebayo headed in from close range after a cross from the right was nodded back across goal by Carlton Morris.

The second was a bit of a mess from Brighton’s perspective: a long pass released Ogbene, who ran past the outrushing keeper Jason Steele and walked the ball into the net.

GOAL! Luton 2-0 Brighton (Ogbene 3)

Chiedozie Ogbene has doubled Luton’s lead, already!

Luton Town’s Chiedozie Ogbene makes it 2-0. Photograph: Chris Foxwell/ProSports/REX/Shutterstock

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GOAL! Luton 1-0 Brighton (Adebayo 1)

Rob Knap’s life (see 7.27pm) has been saved by Elijah Adebayo!

“The ol’ xG table says Everton are a superior team to Fulham, and if we give them the ten points back they’re ahead of Fulham there too,” says Matt Burtz. “They’ve played well in London this season also. However, they’ve scored exactly two goals in January (albeit it only four games). This is a long-winded way of saying I have no idea what is going to happen at Craven Cottage. A resounding 3-0 win? Sure. A limp 2-0 defeat? Why not? A lifeless 0-0 draw? The possibilities are endless.”

Fulham v Everton and Luton v Brighton are under way, and these are the latest scores.

  • Nottingham Forest 0-0 Arsenal (7.30pm)

  • Luton 0-0 Brighton (7.45pm)

  • Fulham 0-0 Everton (7.45pm)

  • Crystal Palace v Sheff Utd (8pm)

  • Aston Villa v Newcastle (8.15pm)

Nottm Forest 0-0 Arsenal (14 min) Arsenal are all over Forest, who are missing the counter-attacking threat of Anthony Elanga.

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Asian Cup

Bad news for Spurs fans: South Korea will play Australia in a mouthwatering quarter-final after winning a thriller against Saudi Arabia. The match ended 1-1, with South Korea winning 4-2 on penalties.

Women’s Champions League

Chelsea are hammering Paris FC in Paris: four shots on target, four goals, and Lauren James hasn’t even got onto the field. Join Sarah Rendell for the latest.

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Afcon latest

Mali have beaten Burkina Faso 2-1 in their last 16 match, which means they’ll play the hosts Ivory Coast in the quarter-finals. John Ashdown has more.

Nottm Forest v Arsenal is about to kick off. We’ll have goal updates here, but you can follow it in the depth it deserves – the depth you deserve – with Scott Murray.

“There are a lot of potentially cracking atmospheres in this round of games, aren’t there?” writes Rob Knap. “At the City Ground, Luton, Villa… Speaking as a humble TV viewer tonight, there’s nothing better than jaunty shots of the action, shaking cameras and the odd awkward ‘bloke behind me’ comment coming through loud and clear. I’m looking forward to it.

“Apologies in advance if you get three flat 0-0s in those games now, though I think I’d be willing to bet my life on Luton-Brighton not ending goalless.”

Especially as – how unfathomable is this – Brighton’s last two league games have been goalless. You’re right about the atmospheres; Selhurst Park is also right up there, plus Anfield tomorrow and Molineux on Thursday. I guess the Palace fans could turn if they go behind.

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Look at this old rogue

Here’s how the table looks ahead of tonight’s games

Aston Villa v Newcastle team news

Villa are unchanged from their FA Cup draw at Chelsea, which means another start for Youri Tielemans. Eddie Howe also sticks with the Newcastle team that beat Fulham at the weekend. Miguel Almiron is on the bench.

Aston Villa (possible 4-2-2-2) Martinez; Cash, Konsa, Lenglet, Moreno; Kamara, Luiz; McGinn, Tielemans; Diaby, Watkins.
Substitutes: Olsen, Wright, Diego Carlos, Zaniolo, Iroegbunam, Chambers, Kesler-Hayden, Bailey, Ramsey.

Newcastle (4-1-2-3) Dubravka; Trippier, Schar, Botman, Burn; Guimaraes; Miley, Longstaff; Murphy, Isak, Gordon.
Substitutes: Karius, Dummett, Ritchie, Krafth, Hall, Livramento, Almiron, White, Hernes.

Crystal Palace v Sheffield United team news

The dream scenario for Roy Hodgson: Michael Olise and Ebere Eze both start. They make Palace an infintely better side, as you’d expect of two players who would look entirely at home in a Pep Guardiola team.

Ivo Grbic starts in goal for United ahead of Wes Foderingham. Anis Ben Slimane is back after Tunisia’s miserable Afcon campaign. I think they’re playing a back four but I wouldn’t put the imaginary farm on it.

Crystal Palace (possible 4-2-3-1) Henderson; Richards, Andersen, Guehi, Mitchell; Hughes, Lerma; Olise, Elise, Ayew; Mateta.
Substitutes: Johnstone, Tomkins, Franca, Schlupp, Clyne, Edouard, Ahamada, Riedewald, Ozoh.

Sheffield United (possible 4-1-4-1) Grbic; Bogle, Ahmedhodzic, Robinson, Trusty; Vinicius Souza; McAtee, Slimane, Hamer, Brereton Diaz; McBurnie.
Substitutes: Foderingham, Archer, Norwood, Osborn, Larouci, Osula, Norrington-Davies, Brooks, Seriki.

Fulham v Everton team news

Fulham return to their strongest XI after resting a number of players in the FA Cup defeat to Newcastle.

Everton are light in central midfield, so Ashley Young may demonstrate that he’s an even better Swiss Army Knife than we realised. Either that or he’s playing right wing-back and Jack Harrison is in midfield.

Fulham (4-2-3-1) Leno; Castagne, Tosin, Diop, Robinson; Palhinha, Cairney; De Cordova-Reid, Pereira, Willian, Jimenez.
Substitutes: Rodak, Tete, Reed, Ream, Muniz, Lukic, Vinicius, Francois, Sekularac.

Everton (possible 4-2-3-1) Pickford; Godfrey, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Mykolenko; Young, Garner; McNeil, Harrison, Danjuma; Calvert-Lewin.
Substitutes: Virginia, Lonergan, Patterson, Keane, Beto, Chermiti, Hunt, Dobbin, Metcalfe.

Luton v Brighton team news

No big surprises in either team, though Luton have omitted Andros Townsend. Carlton Morris starts instead, while Danny Welbeck is preferred up front to Evan Ferguson for Brighton.

Luton (possible 3-4-2-1) Kaminski; Burke, Osho, Bell, Ogbene, Sambi Lokonga, Barkley, Doughty; Clark, Morris; Adebayo.
Substitutes: Krul, Potts, Berry, Woodrow, Chong, Mpanzu, Townsend, Johnson, Nelson.

Brighton (possible 3-4-2-1) Steele; Van Hecke, Dunk, Igor Julio; Milner, Gilmour, Gross, Estupinan; Gross, Gilmour, Milner; Buonanotte, Joao Pedro; Welbeck.
Substitutes: Verbruggen, Lamptey, Webster, Lallana, Moder, Baleba, Hinshelwood, Ferguson, Baker-Boaitey.

Nottm Forest v Arsenal team news

The influential Morgan Gibbs-White is back in the Forest starting line-up, with Anthony Elanga and Taiwo Awoniyi fit enough for bench. And Emile Smith Rowe – still only 23, still extremely talented – gets a rare Premier League start for Arsenal. All the best to him.

Nottingham Forest (4-2-3-1) Turner; Montiel, Omobamidele, Murillo, Toffolo; Mangala, Danilo; Wiliams, Gibbs-White, Dominguez; Wood.
Subs: Worrall, Awoniyi, Hennessey, Hudson-Odoi, Felipe, Elanga, Yates, Vlachodimos, Aguilera.

Arsenal (4-1-2-3) Raya; White, Saliba, Gabriel, Zinchenko; Rice; Odegaard, Smith Rowe; Saka, Gabriel Jesus, Martinelli.
Subs: Ramsdale, Nketiah, Kiwior, Cedric, Trossard, Jorginho, Nelson, Havertz, Walters.

That match has a dedicated MBM of its own, with the great Scott Murray at the helm.

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The Premier League is jolly well back, baby. It never really went away – Brighton 0-0 Wolves was less than nine days ago – but technically there was a winter break and the second half of the season, the bit that really matters, begins tonight.

There are five games, generously staggered to ensure I won’t get a toilet break for about three hours. And they cover all the mini-leagues: title race, Europa League qualification, mid-table non-mediocrity and the relegation battle.

  • Nottingham Forest v Arsenal (7.30pm)

  • Luton v Brighton (7.45pm)

  • Fulham v Everton (7.45pm)

  • Crystal Palace v Sheff Utd (8pm)

  • Aston Villa v Newcastle (8.15pm)

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