Paris 2024 Olympics: opening ceremony boats take teams down Seine as Lady Gaga performs – live | Paris Olympic Games 2024

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Brands doing this ubiquitous Charli xcx meme is rapidly becoming a bit “How do you do, fellow kids?”*

[*unless I had thought of doing it first]

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The Olympic flag is being raised, and the Olympic anthem is playing.

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The Olympic flag is now being handed over. And as that is happening, my colleague Jack Snape in Paris has already filed his review of the night from the perspective of our Australian friends …

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The ceremony has been going down well in Paris, at least where my colleague Alexandra Topping has been watching it from. The French team got a rapturous welcome.

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They’ve swapped the metal horse for an actual horse, and all the national flags are filing in behind it.

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I must confess I am a longtime Olympics aficionado and this combination of a montage of historic moments, the horse delivering the Olympic flag, and the anticipation of the flame being lit is giving me the feels.

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We are now getting to the more formal part of the ceremony, with flags from the barges being lined up near the Eiffel Tower as the metal horse arrives.

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As the horse is galloping down the river, symbols of doves are being shown. The Olympic opening ceremony doesn’t feature a release of live doves any more, which it usually did in a tradition stretching back to 1920.

However, to get the 1988 Seoul Olympics under way, a flock of doves was released into the stadium. When the cauldron was lit, several doves were flame-grilled live on TV in front of billions as they’d picked an unfortunate place to settle down and roost. We’ve avoided that tonight.

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I am expecting this next bit to be spectacular as we see someone galloping a horse down the Seine. Yes, you read that right. She is carrying the Olympic flag. It’s a metal horse on a boat, but still, it is visually stunning. Definitely one of the iconic pictures to come from this evening you would imagine.

Photograph: Mauro Pimentel/AFP/Getty Images
The metal horse in question. Photograph: Jared C Tilton/Getty Images
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While you imagine an Olympic ceremony that doesn’t feature this song, there is a lot of sport to be looking forward to tomorrow. Shooting, fencing, basketball, swimming. You can find the live schedule here …

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This next section is about all the troubles in the world, and how young people are going to dance their way through it. I regret to inform you that the most predictable song in the history of Olympic opening ceremonies is about to crop up again. Sofiane Pamart on piano and Juliette Armanet voice will be performing … oh, you know …

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That dancefloor looks treacherous in this rain now. I’m not 100% sure about the way this has all been staged like this, but it is producing some spectacular still images.

Team France on their boat as people dance and act above during the opening ceremony. Photograph: David Davies/PA
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Elements of tonight’s show have definitely had a bit of Eurovision about them, and we are now getting a Europop-themed dance show.

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It is Freed From Desire – YOUR DEFENCE IS TERRIFIED!

If you know, you know. Photograph: Charles McQuillan/Getty Images
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Hosts France definitely saved the biggest and best boat until last, and why not, it is their party after all.

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The host nation are now the focus of attention, with the sound of huge cheers accompanying them on the last part of the route down the river.

Photograph: Paul Childs/Reuters
Team France aboard a boat in the floating parade on the River Seine. Photograph: Paul Childs/Reuters
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We are back with the mysterious flame carrier now. They are at the fashion catwalk, which has been set like a banquet table. And here is a satellite link-up with Tahiti. The weather looks a lot better than Paris to be fair.

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The team from Australia are here. Brisbane will host in 2032. Tokyo gold-medal winning paddler Jess Fox and Kookaburras veteran Eddie Ockenden are holding the flags. Team USA are close behind. Los Angeles is host 2028.

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While we wait for the athletes parade to wind down with Australia, then the US, then France, here are some more pictures …

Actors perform during the opening ceremony. Photograph: Wang Dongzhen/Reuters
Athletes from Hong Kong wave their flag. Photograph: Mohammed Badra/EPA
A member of staff sweeps rain off a walkway at the Trocadéro. Photograph: Joel Marklund/PA
Team GB waving flags. Photograph: Naomi Baker/Getty Images
French fighter jets skywriting as part of the ceremony. Photograph: Aijaz Rahi/Reuters
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Coming up in a bit will be the Ukraine delegation, sharing their barge with Turkmenistan, Tuvalu and Uruguay. Nick Ames in Paris has this report on their preparations.

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If you were thinking of popping out to make a cup of tea, now might be the moment. There are about another 15 barges before the ceremony bits resume …

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The last two delegations in the parade, Team USA and France, have already set off at the start of the route.

The Team USA delegation on the Seine. Photograph: Lars Baron/Getty Images
A view from the French boat. Photograph: Franck Fife/AP
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The Palestine delegation has just gone by. They are sharing a barge with Panama, Papua New Guinea and Paraguay.

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For some competitors being on the water for the ceremony is a bit of a busman’s holiday …

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Paris is nothing if not fashion, and we are now being treated to a catwalk show of celebrities who have been dressed by young French designers. It is on the Debilly Footbridge.

I have bad news if you are not a fan of athletes waving flags in boats. I think after this is done, the next section has 69 further national delegations to go by.

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This is Rim’K rapping now, with a track called King, which I think just referenced Snoop Dog, who was carrying the Olympic flame around Saint-Denis earlier.

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Here are some more pictures from the ceremony …

Ireland’s team moves down the Seine River in Paris. Photograph: Morry Gash/AP
Judoka Teddy Riner of France, flag bearer Florent Manaudou of France, and fellow athletes from France’s delegation. Photograph: Franck Fife/Reuters
Cameroon President Paul Biya (R) and his wife Chantal Biya (L) are not projecting an image that this is fun in the Paris rain here. Photograph: Odd Andersen/AFP/Getty Images
A torchbearer runs atop the Musee d’Orsay. Photograph: Peter Cziborra/Reuters
Athletes of Team Canada. Photograph: Christian Petersen/Getty Images
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A few more pictures from an increasingly wet Paris…

Oh, maaaaate. Photograph: Andy Wong/AP
Ponchos abound. Photograph: Cameron Spencer/Getty Images
Paris, je t’aime. Photograph: Julien de Rosa/AFP/Getty Images
The view from Place du Trocadero. Photograph: Jamie Squire/Getty Images
An aerial view of the Seine Photograph: Lionel Bonaventure/AFP/Getty Images
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My colleague Sean Ingle is – unlike me – actually in Paris, and he has written this evening about the prospects for Team GB

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I see in the comments people questioning the absence of Australia. Rest assured, you haven’t missed them. The final three delegations are Australia (2032 hosts), USA (2028 hosts) and then France (hosts).

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The next bunch of barges being featured go from Japan to Madagascar, and then Jakub Józef Orliński will perform. After that there are another 24 barges due, and after that another 70. We will be here for a while yet.

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New Zealand breaking out the rhyming couplets on social media here …

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The next section is about the history of sport in France and I feel certain one thing that won’t get mentioned is that the denouement of the Tour de France this year got bumped from Paris to Nice for the first time ever because of the Olympics.

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Golden statues of ten women from France’s history are rising out now. The organisers were at pains to point out that in Paris there are about 260 statues of men, and just 40 or so statues of women. This is an attempt to redress the balance. They include figures born from the 1700s to Simone Veil, who campaigned for abortion rights, and who died as recently as 2017. The statues will be offered to the city afterwards in a bid to give them a permanent home.

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I have found the Despicable Me franchise to be a series of diminishing returns after the first one was great. However, maybe I’m easily pleased, but the Minions doing slapstick Olympics while evoking every French stereotype possible has made me laugh a lot there. Immediately followed by The Marseillaise being sung by mezzo-soprano Axelle Saint-Cirel. You wouldn’t say there had been a consistent tone, would you?

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A huge fan of any Olympic opening ceremony that includes the Lumière brothers’ train actually bursting out of the screen. This is a great little sequence referencing films, and then the Minions turn up! Did they just say “Ooh la la!”?

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Shane Lowry and Sarah Lavin are carrying the flag for Ireland. They are sharing a barge with Iraq. The boat ahead carried Iran. The boat behind carries Israel. You imagine the organisers may have done quite a bit of spreadsheet juggling about boat capacity to end up with that result.

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The next section is going to be “a tribute to the art of filmmaking and French science fiction”. Meanwhile the mysterious hooded flame bearer has discovered the Mona Lisa has been stolen, which is actually also the plot of a 1970s Doctor Who story written by Douglas Adams. The Lumière brothers’ moving pictures and Georges Meliès’ A Trip To The Moon are going to be referenced.

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Great Britain, Grenada, Guam and Guatemala are sharing the next barge. It looks like it is absolutely tipping it down in Paris now.

The Greek boat has finally reached the end of the course. Blimey. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/The Guardian
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Here is that mysterious torch bearer making their way through the Louvre.

Meanwhile on the television coverage it is the music of Claude Debussy and we have got up to countries that start with the letter ‘E’. That may give you a clue as to how much more of the ceremony is to go.

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